My First Badly Wrapped Boojum

Over the past year I’ve had a boojum awakening. I tried it for the first time several years ago and wasn’t impressed. I accidentally got the hot salsa and it was just a bit too spicy. Coupled with an equally poor decision to drink a coke alongside it, I endured a rather miserable experience of tongue burning and indigestion.  Needless to say I had no intention of returning. Two years later however fate decided that I should try it again. This time I made no mistakes. Instead of having salsa I thought ‘To heck with society!’ and ordered my burrito without it. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Whoa! What a maniac!’ But that’s what I did. Just a simple burrito with pulled pork, orange beans, Mexican rice, sour cream and cheese. And you know what? It was delicious. That was it you know? I got a taste for it. Barely a day goes by when my mouth doesn’t water thinking about having that Mexican rice roll over my tongue, lighting my taste buds like fireworks. I drool daydreaming about those soft flour tortilla wraps, so doughy and delicious and the meat inside! I’ve tried pork, pulled beef and chicken, each is as good as the other! I have yet to try the chorizo but maybe some day. I regularly enjoyed my boojums because they were perfect every time. The makers so skilled at keeping it all in the wrap. I was truly impressed. It was never messy, you can forget your knife and fork! Time after time it hit the spot.

You can imagine my surprise then when I eagerly opened the foil wrapping to find this inside:

Admittedly this isn’t the actual picture of my burrito but it gives a good impression of the horror I opened up to find. Now I’ll admit it was a whole grain wrap and they are little more crumbly than the white wraps but I’ve had them before and this has never happened.

To set the scene. Its Friday afternoon and I’m looking in the fridge for something to eat but rations are pretty scarce. What shall I do? I know! I haven’t had a boojum yet this week. So I walk up to boojum. Its a beautiful sunny afternoon and the birds in the park are singing almost as if they know where I’m going. I’m going to boojum. My step quickens as I grow nearer my destination. A short stop at an ATM to get out a tenner and before you know it I’m in line for my boojum. Yay!

“Today I’m going to go for a whole grain burrito.”

“What rice do you want?”

“Mexican please, with the orange beans and chicken.”

“What salsa would you like?”

“None Thanks.”

“What?! You’re crazy!”

“I know I am but just sour cream and cheese please. ”

And so I pass on to the counter and pay for my boojum. I notice the price has gone up 70p but I don’t care. All I want is my burrito, no mess no fuss. It takes an abnormal amount of time.

“I’m sorry for the wait.”

“That’s no problem”

I take my boojum and almost run out the shop in excitement. I walk back to my house in record time. T.V on. Clean plate, just in case though I fully expect I’ll not need it. Knife and fork? Nope! A nice glass of water to wash it down. So I sit down and open up the tin foil wrap to this:

Are you joking me? I’m devastated. Its finally happened. I’ve had my first badly wrapped boojum. Rice and sour cream oozed on to my hands as I struggled to fit the flapping parts of wrap into my mouth. Make no mistake it tasted delicious but eating it was a handling. Maybe it was the girls first day on the job, or maybe she hated me enough to do this deliberately, I don’t know. All I know is it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I went to the kitchen to get a knife and fork to clean up to overspill.  This will take some getting over. I’ve been depressed all day since. Maybe next week I’ll revert to plain white and it will look like this once more: 

Yum! I can’t wait to go back!

 

Have you ever had a bad boojum experience? Or jsut good ones? Feel free to share them in the comments.