A lot of people have been talking about summer and as with every other year the focus is on the body. What do you want to look like in your speedos on the beach? Doesn’t really matter because no matter what shape you’re in you’re guaranteed to look like a weirdo.
A lot of blogs and fitness magazines are talking about getting fit for summer but we want to do the opposite and talk about how to get fat for summer. To do this we’ve developed a 12 week plan that’s guaranteed to help you gain at least 30 pounds of pure fat in just 10 minutes a day.
“Traditionally gaining weight can be incredibly time consuming and moderate intensity protocols may not even produce the results eaters are seeking” – Fatty Magoo.
This eating workout cuts down on feasting times and is proven to increase subcutaneous fat around your belly. Furthermore, it can generate more fat overall in a 24-hour period than traditional eating measures.
How it works: For the times given, perform as many repetitions of each move as you can, focusing on maintaining proper form the entire time (reference videos for the correct form). If your form breaks down, slow down and complete fewer reps. As you progress, you’ll be able to complete more repetitions during each time period.
Workout 1: Lower body- the thunder thighs generator
Days: 1, 3, 5 and 7
Workout 1 moves:
1. Doughnut danger: Eat as many filled doughnuts as you can, filling type does not matter but NO gravy rings! No fat is gained through the whole in the middle. (60 sec)
2. Wagon-wheels: Get yourself a packet of wagon wheels and eat through them fast! (60 sec)
3. Milkshake down: Wash down the first two exorcizes with a thick shake. Any flavour allowed but try and stay away from using real fruit. (30 sec)
4. Hip Hikers: Lots and lots of bacon, fried in copious amounts of butter and stuffed down your gullet. (60 sec)
5. Sugar supply: You’ll be thirsty after all that bacon, this time wash it down with some fizzies, any flavour but make sure its full fat! (30 sec)
6. Greese me up: Take a jar of goose fat and enjoy. You may find it hard to get it down but trust me, the results are worth it! (60 sec)
7. Pork me in the belly: Grab yourself some pork scratchings and tear through. By the end of 12 weeks you should be able to eat at least 4 bags. (60 sec)
8. Fat Fantasy: Get yourself some steaks, cut off the fat and eat it, throw the rest of the steak out as protein isn’t fat! (120 sec)
9. Living the cream: Get yourself a few cartoons of double cream and drink away (30 sec)
10. Sweet and sugar: Time for some fast acting sugar, mix it up between haribo, skittles and chocolate buttons. (60 sec)
11. Syrup sliders: To end off workout one you’ll need some toffee, chocolate or strawberry sauce. Drink away for a final energy boost! You’ll really feel it throughout the day!
Workout 2: Upper body- For a solid belly
Days: 2,4 and 6
Workout 2 moves
1. Double Chin-ups: If you really want to look fat then face fat is a key area to focus on. For this grab a bag of toffee popcorn, fill a bowl and add milk. Eat it just like cereal. (60 sec)
2.Chi-squeasy: Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, no veg. Eat it up. (180 sec)
3. Coke Hold: Some more saturated liquid fats to help the chinese go down. Fill a glass with coke and add 3 table spoons of sugar for an extra kick. (30 sec)
4. Nacho fat yet: Dorito’s covered in nacho cheese sauce and cheddar cheese, add a few teaspoons of sugar if you want to up your gain. (60 sec)
5. Mayo have some more?: Mayonnaise, nothing more nothing less, just eat some mayo plain and simple. Add a few table spoons of sugar if you want to up your gain. (60 sec)
6. Ice still skinny: Get yourself some Ice cream. Make sure it has plenty of saturated fat and enjoy. Add a few table spoons of sugar if you want to up your gain. (60 sec)
7. Can’t fry me love: A double deep fried burger patty, in a deep fried bap with deep fried cheese and a thick blue cheese dressing. Add a few table spoons of sugar if you want to up your gain.(120 sec)
8. The hoover: By this stage there’s bound to be some left overs. Eat as much as you can as quick as you can, don’t anything go to waste! If there’s nothing left have a couple table spoons of sugar.(30 sec)
This is our quick action plan to gain weight fast! This is not a replacement of regular meals but is to be taken in addition to your normal regime. As well as severe weight gain you may also find that you have developed type 2 diabetes. This is a normal side effect of this course.
Disclaimer: Try this workout plan at your own risk, we hold no responsibility for any outcomes of this process.